Girls Like Us Read online

  A special thanks, too, to anyone who has supported GEMS over the years, especially those who’ve donated money and resources and ensured that we could continue to build a place of safety and support for our girls and young women. Thank you.

  While I’m well aware that this is not an award show, I really do want to thank God for blessing me and for His amazing grace that saved a wretch like me. I’m so grateful to be found.

  Thanks to my mother for supporting me in telling my story. I love you much and always, and I’m so glad we have the beautiful relationship that we have now. I’m proud of you and thankful that you’re my mom. Truly.

  To my grandma, the late and great Jean Lloyd, who always believed in me and who gave me my stubbornness, my sense of humor, and my ability to cook a mean roast dinner. I miss you always.

  To my wonderful and wise editor at HarperCollins, Gail Winston, for all of your support and faith and, of course, patience. Thank you so, so much for believing in me. And to Jason Sack, assistant editor and phone buddy—thank you for answering all the millions of questions I had and for keeping me on track.

  To my agent, Elizabeth Sheinkman, at Curtis Brown. Thank you for your support and encouragement.

  Thank-you to everyone who’s ever told me, “You should really write a book,” but especially to David Henry Sterry, who told me lots and lots of times and inspired me to actually do it. Thank-you to Janice Erlbaum for giving me real-life author advice. And thank-you to all the amazing writers I’ve read over the years who taught me so much and inspired me with the power of their words.

  A huge and heartfelt thank-you goes out to my friends and surrogate family, who not only deal with me on a regular basis and still love me but who put up with my grouchiness after spending numerous sleepless weekends in a hotel room in Jersey, writing and drinking way too much Red Bull, and who dealt with my general and frequent whining about writing a book—thank you! Your support and encouragement helped me keep going.

  A special thanks to Senior Clinical Director Julie Laurence and Fiscal/Admin Director Yvette Velez, who’ve not only been holding it down at GEMS for years but who have held me down and always had my back. From fiscal meetings in my car to driving down to D.C. in the middle of the night, never-ending streams of crisis calls, all-nighters in the office, Popeyes, Starbucks, Jamal’s, FDR park BBQs, Christmases and Thanksgivings, watching the girls grow up, laughing, crying, smoking too many cigarettes . . . and that’s just the stuff that’s printable. We’ve made it through so much, and GEMS, and I, could never have made it without you. I love and appreciate you both more than you know . . . fam!

  Thank-you to my assistant, Elizabeth Gaines, for being an amazing assistant and friend. I couldn’t have gotten through the last three years without you. In fact, I’d still be driving around somewhere, lost in Jersey. I wish you so much happiness in your new life.

  Bridgit Antoinette Evans, so happy to have you in my life as a sister and friend and to be on such a wonderful journey with you. Aries all the way!

  My big sister Lisa Goldblatt Grace, director of the wonderful My Life, My Choice program in Boston (and erstwhile author). Thank you for so much, for . . . everything. Don’t know what I’d do without you.

  Ruben Austria, executive director of Community Connections for Youth, thank you for over a decade of friendship, Miss Saigon sing-a-thons, and your prayers and support. You’ve held me down, son!

  Bradley Myles, executive director of Polaris Project in D.C. and all-round supersmart guy. Thank you so much for your friendship and support and all our late night chats. I’m really grateful for you.

  Cait Mullen, the architect of the nation’s Safe Harbor law—I miss our trips to Albany. You’re an incredible advocate, great lawyer, and a wonderful friend. Thank you for being in my life.

  Priya Swaminathan and David Schisgall, thank you for making our documentary Very Young Girls and for knowing that we could truly begin to shift perceptions about our girls. Thank you for your continued friendship, love, and support. You are two of my favorite people.

  Greg “Shotti” Morgan, photographer extraordinaire. I’m really grateful for our friendship and your support and honesty and especially your ridiculous sense of humor. Thanks for being in my life.

  Thank-you to my readers, Julie, Brad, Lisa, Bridgit, Ruben, Priya, Pamela Shifman, and Teresa Tomassoni. Thank you for being so excited and for so much encouragement.

  To my “grandbaby” Juston. I love you more than you could ever know and am so happy to be in your life.

  To H. Thank you for being my sober role model and inspiring me. For real, for real.

  To Scott and Gail. Thank you for being there for me and for all your support. It has changed my life.

  A huge thank-you to all of the GEMS staff who do phenomenal work every single day. I’m so grateful to work with such an amazing group of talented, smart, funny, dedicated women. You have all made my dream a reality.

  And finally, a very special thank-you to the girls and young women who trusted me to tell their stories and have shared their lives with me. I’m scared to name any of y’all cos there’s no way to name everyone, and God forbid I leave someone out! Y’all know there would be some drama over that. So . . . please know how much I truly love you and how special you all are to me in your own unique way. I hope you can see through these pages how much you’ve all taught me and inspired me. This is for you.

  To learn more and to support GEMS’ work with girls,

  please visit our website at:

  www.gems-girls.org

  If you suspect that someone you know is a victim of

  human trafficking, call the National Human Trafficking

  Resource Center hotline at 1-888-3737-888.

  Notes

  PROLOGUE

  10 1.2 million children and youth: UNICEF. Child protection from violence, exploitation and abuse. http://www.unicef.org/protection/index_exploitation.html.

  11 200,000 to 300,000 adolescents are at risk: Estes, R. and N. Weiner. 2001. The commercial sexual exploitation of children in the U.S., Canada and Mexico. Philadelphia: Center for the Study of Youth Policy, School of Social Work, University of Pennsylvania.

  1: LEARNING

  15 “Child sexual exploitation is the most hidden form”: Ibid.

  2: RISK

  33 the number of children and youth at high risk for recruitment: Estes and Weiner. Commercial sexual exploitation.

  39 “Between 1984 and 1994, the homicide rate for black males”: Levitt, S., K. Murphy, et al. 2006. How bad was crack cocaine? The economics of an illicit drug market. Washingon, D.C.: National Bureau of Economic Research.

  39 In 1984, there were 16,230 children: Reinharz, P. 2000. No, the neighborhoods haven’t healed themselves. City Journal. Winter.

  40 The murder rate in 2007: “New York Law Enforcement Agency Uniform Crime Reports 1980 to 2005.” http://www.nyc.gov/html/nypd/downloads/pdf/crime_statistics/cscity.pdf on the Web page http://www.nyc.gov/html/nypd/html/crime_prevention/crime_statistics.shtml, which shows the 17-year change from week-to-date 2010.

  40 Nationally, over thirteen million children: Douglas-Hall, A., M. Chau, et al. 2006. Basic facts about low-income children: Birth to age 18. New York: National Center for Children in Poverty, Mailman School of Public Health, Columbia University.

  40 Over half a million children: Chau, M., A. D. Kinsey, et al. 2006. On the edge in the Empire State: New York’s low-income children. New York: National Center for Children in Poverty, Mailman School of Public Health, Columbia University.

  41 There are currently over 15,000 children: New York City Administration of Children’s Services. Statistics and Links. http://www.nyc.gov/html/acs/html/statistics/statistics_links.shtml (accessed August 10, 2010).

  41 75 percent of sexually exploited and trafficked children: Gragg, F., I. Petta, et al. 2007. New York prevalence study of commercially sexually exploited children. Rensselaer, N.Y.: New York State Office of Children and Family Services.
<
br />   44 For a time, one of the most: Smalley, S. 2003. This could be your kid. Newsweek. August 18.

  3: FAMILY

  64 Like all forms of child abuse: Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. 2005. Adverse childhood experiences study: Data and statistics. Atlanta, Ga.

  65 “Incest is boot camp for prostitution”: Dworkin, A. 1997. Prostitution and male supremacy. In Life and Death. New York: Free Press.

  65 sexually abused prior to their recruitment: Widom, C. S. 1995. Victims of childhood sexual abuse—Later criminal consequences. Washington, D.C.: National Institute of Justice, Office of Justice Programs, U.S. Department of Justice. Finkelhor, D. and A. Browne. 1985. The traumatic impact of child sexual abuse: A conceptualization. American Journal of Orthopsychiatry 55(4). Silbert, M. 1984. Treatment of prostitute victims of sexual assault. In Victims of Sexual Aggression. New York:Van Nostrand Reinhold.

  4: RECRUITMENT

  72 “I ain’t gotta give ’em much”: Jackson, C. (“50 Cent”). 2003. “P.I.M.P.” In Get Rich or Die Tryin’.

  79 For victims of sex trafficking: S. 3061: William Wilberforce Trafficking Victims Protection Reauthorization Act of 2008. Retrieved August 10, 2010, from http://www.govtrack.us/congress/bill.xpd?bill=s110-3061.

  82 “allowed herself to be entrapped”: Gorham, D. 1978. “The maiden tribute of modern Babylon” reexamined : Child prostitution and the idea of childhood in late-Victorian England. Victorian Studies 21:3.

  5: PIMPS

  88 Snoop brags about his pimping: Toure. 2006 America’s most lovable pimp. Rolling Stone 14. December.

  89 “Wait I got a snow bunny”: Three 6 Mafia. 2005. “It’s Hard out Here for a Pimp.” In Hustle and Flow.

  6: JOHNS

  108 A University of Pennsylvania study: Estes and Weiner. Commercial sexual exploitation.

  108 113 men who purchased sex: Durchslag, R. and S. Goswami. 2008. Deconstructing the demand for prostitution: Preliminary insights from interviews with Chicago men who purchase sex. Chicago Alliance Against Sexual Exploitation.

  109 “My . . . hasn’t she grown!”: FHM. 1999. Britney Spears cover issue. July.

  109 hundreds of thousands of websites: Ropelato, J. Internet pornography statistics. Retrieved August 10, 2010 from http://internet-filter-review.toptenreviews.com/internet-pornography-statistics-pg11.html.

  109 In the CAASE research: Durchslag and Goswami. Deconstructing the demand.

  111 A Canadian commission found: Special Committee on Prostitution and Pornography. 1985. Pornography and prostitution in Canada. Ottawa: Canadian Government Publishing Center.

  112 Another study put the estimate: Lowman, J. and P. Dillon. 1998. Life on the streets is dangerous. Surrey Leader. May 17.

  112 “I picked prostitutes as my victims”: Gary Ridgway (the “Green River Killer”) in a statement to the court in which he pled guilty to murdering forty-eight women and girls, 2003. http://www.cnn.com/2003/LAW/11/05/ridgway.statement/.

  7: VICTIMS

  115 “The majority of rapes”: Rennison, C. M. 2002. Rape and sexual assault: Reporting to police and medical attention, 1992–2000. Washington, D.C.: Bureau of Justice Statistics, Office of Justice Programs, U.S. Department of Justice. August. NCJ 194530.

  131 “In New York City, good victims”: Vachss, A. 1993. Sex crimes: Ten years on the front lines prosecuting rapists and confronting their collaborators. New York: Random House.

  8: COPS

  133 “Larger social forces have”: Bortner, M. A. and L. Williams. 1997. Youth in prison: We the people of Unit Four. New York: Routledge.

  140 “As long as black women”: Cobb, W. J. 2004. Nelly, Portrayals of Women of Color, and Bone Marrow. http://jelanicobb.com/content/view/20/30.

  140 “There are certain rules”: Bright, M. 2002. The vanishing. Guardian. December 15.

  141 “A Nexis search of major newspapers”: Johnson, M. and A. Johnson. 2002. Alexis gets little notice; Utah girl widely covered. Milwaukee Journal Sentinel. June 15.

  141 “It would have been difficult”: Fountain, J. W. 2002. Hope lingers in Milwaukee for youngster’s return. New York Times. June 27.

  142 “her precociousness may have”: Fenner, A. 2004. Sad farewell to Tyisha, New York Daily News. July 14.

  142 “fun-loving,” “sweet,” and “caring”: Hutchinson, B. 2004. Sad songs for slain teen. New York Daily News. August 3.

  143 “The lanky and sour Nicolette”: Kaufman, L. 2004. Determining the future of a girl with a past. New York Times. September 15.

  144 she’s headed to Rikers: New York is one of three states that sends sixteen-year-old children to an adult correctional facility.

  9: STAYING

  152 “One of the first books”: Herman, J. 1992. Trauma and recovery. New York: Basic Books.

  155 “Psychologist Dee Graham identified”: Graham, D.L.R. 1994. Loving to survive: Sexual terror, men’s violence, and women’s lives. New York University Press.

  157 “all unequal power relationships”: Clark, L.M.G. and D. Lewis. 1977. Rape: The price of coercive sexuality. Toronto: The Women’s Press.

  163 his concentration camp experiences: Bettelheim, B. 1943. Individual and mass behavior in extreme situations. Journal of Abnormal and Social Psychology 38.

  163 the former slave clearly: Equiano, O. 1789. The interesting narrative of the life of Olaudah Equiano, or Gustavus Vassa, the African. Vol. 1. London.

  10: LEAVING

  180 A study done by Dr. Melissa Farley: Farley, M., I. Baral, et al. 1989. Prostitution in five countries: Violence and post-traumatic stress disorder. Feminism & Psychology 8(4).

  11: RELAPSE

  192 After years of watching girls: Prochaska, J. O. and C. C. DiClemente. 1983. Stages and processes of self-change in smoking: Toward an integrative model of change. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology 51.

  12: UNLEARNING

  198 one in four women: National Institute of Justice and Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. 2000. Extent, nature, and consequences of intimate partner violence. Washington, D.C.: National Institute of Justice, Office of Justice Programs, U.S. Department of Justice.

  198 half of the two hundred teenagers: Boston Public Health Commission. 2009. Public Health Commission surveys youths on dating violence. March 12. Retrieved August 10, 2010 from http://www.bphc.org/Newsroom/Pages/TopStoriesView.aspx?ID=60.

  13: STIGMA

  217 “The recruitment, harboring, transportation”: S. 3061: William Wilberforce Trafficking Victims Protection Reauthorization Act.

  Credits

  JACKET PHOTOGRAPHS © ALAMY, GETTY IMAGES, CORBIS, AND COURTESY OF THE AUTHOR

  JACKET DESIGN BY CHRISTINE VAN BREE

  About the Author

  Rachel Lloyd earned her BA in psychology from Marymount Manhattan College and her MA in applied urban anthropology from the City College of New York. She is the founder and executive director of GEMS, Girls Educational and Mentoring Services, and has received numerous awards, including the prestigious Reebok Human Rights Award. Lloyd is an Ashoka Fellow and a Prime Mover Fellow, and she was a leading advocate for the Safe Harbor for Exploited Youth Act, which made New York the first state to protect, not prosecute, sexually exploited children. She lives in New York City.

  Visit www.AuthorTracker.com for exclusive information on your favorite HarperCollins authors.

  Additional Praise for GIRLS LIKE US

  “With this moving new memoir, Rachel Lloyd takes her rightful place next to groundbreaking authors and activists like Dorothy Allison, Sapphire, and Jeannette Walls. She gracefully weaves together her own personal story of surviving ‘the life,’ the stories of the forgotten and fierce girls she has mothered and mentored, and big picture analysis of domestic trafficking. I turned the last page feeling like I’d just earned a PhD in injustice, but also a profound and rare sense of hope.”

  —Courtney E. Martin,

  author of Do It Anyway: The New Generation of Activists

  and editor,
Feministing.com

  “While attention is finally being paid to victims of international trafficking, their sexually exploited American counterparts, as young as eleven, are criminalized for their heinous victimization. Rachel Lloyd’s memoir should be mandatory reading for every cop, prosecutor, judge, and ‘john,’ but also every mainstream American who thinks racism, classism, and misogyny don’t exist.”

  —Sarah Jones,

  Tony Award–winning playwright and performer,

  and UNICEF Goodwill Ambassador

  “Girls Like Us is a life-changing book, in every sense of the word. Rachel Lloyd changed her life in order to help change the lives of thousands of others; read her incredibly powerful story, and your life will be changed too.”

  —Janice Erlbaum,

  author of Girlbomb: A Halfway Homeless Memoir

  and Have You Found Her: A Memoir

  “Girls Like Us is a powerful and eloquent recounting of the lives of children and young women caught up in the ravages of sexual exploitation by someone who has ‘walked the walk.’ This introspective and reflective book offers valuable insights into understanding the complex emotional and economic factors that contribute to the exploitation of children and youth. Lloyd is to be congratulated.”

  —Dr. Richard J. Estes,

  professor of social work, University of Pennsylvania

  Copyright

  The names of certain individuals have been changed to protect their privacy.

  GIRLS LIKE US. Copyright © 2011 by Rachel Lloyd.

  All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the nonexclusive, nontransferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on-screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, downloaded, decompiled, reverse-engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins e-books.